💡Life Lessons from the Aisle
"99% Attendance, 1% Actually Working."
"If you can guard Vishal, you can guard your secrets."
"AIR 1: All India Rakshak! (Aisle Inspector Rank 1)"
"Dream Big. Guard the Entry Bigger."
"No Pain, No Free Polythene."
🛒About the Legendary Exam
- •India's most prestigious and competitive security guard entrance exam (for shopping carts and hearts).
- •Over 15 lakh aspirants, 2 selections, 1 free whistle.
- •Includes Physical, Mental, and Whistle-Blowing Aptitude Tests (literally).
- •Preparation requires discipline, courage, and a love for Vishal Mega Mart memes.
- •Coaching available from Class 1 onwards. Parental pressure included free.
📰Latest Updates
📰 BREAKING NEWSLIVE
- FLASHMay 2025Blinded by Love, Boy Walks Into Wrong Lab, Gets Emotionally Blocked and Digitally Too!In a heart-wrenching yet hysterically miscalculated tale of modern romance, a local RKGIT college boy named Aniket from the CSE branch has become the living embodiment of "love is blind" — quite literally. On a regular Thursday morning, students of both sections of the Computer Science branch were headed to their respective labs. Everyone, except our love-struck hero, reached their designated classrooms on time. Aniket, however, powered by the GPS of love and poor decision-making, confidently marched into the wrong lab — eyes not on the seating chart, but on Ankita. Yes, Ankita — the girl he's had a crush on since orientation, the girl who probably doesn't even know his blood group, let alone his name. And who's telling you all this with unnecessary excitement and spite? Me — Ganesh, his trusted friend and resident insult-delivery service. Witnesses (aka me and a few other snitches) confirm that Aniket, so deeply hypnotized by his long-time crush's presence, didn't notice a glaring fact: not a single one of his actual classmates was there. But in his rom-com-colored vision, only one thing was possible — she was in the wrong class. Obviously. Because how can his heart be wrong? Now, any rational student might have quietly walked over and clarified the lab confusion in person. But not our Aniket. No sir. Fueled by cinematic levels of romantic overthinking, Aniket took the scenic route — opened his official CS WhatsApp group, hunted for her number like a secret agent, and messaged her: "Hey, you're in the wrong lab." That's it. No name. No context. No explanation. Just unsolicited concern with serial-killer formatting. According to sources (read: her friends), Ankita looked at the message, blinked twice, whispered "Who the hell is this?", and then proceeded to do what any girl would do when approached by a ghost in her DMs — block him instantly. And just like that, Aniket's love story ended. Not with a confession, not with a heartbreak, but with a WhatsApp block — the 2025 version of a door slammed shut in the rain. But the trauma didn't stop there. To this day, Aniket cannot enter a lab without hearing giggles and echoes of "Wrong lab, Romeo." And guess who ensures that never dies? Me again — Ganesh, his emotional support bully. Birthdays, viva days, even when he's pouring dal at the mess counter — the block gets mentioned. He once sneezed and I said "Maybe Ankita felt that block again." He recently posted a status: "God, give me strength... and a solid comeback with a beautiful girl." No one replied, but someone did react with a laughing emoji. It hurt more than the block. (Okay fine, it was me.) While Aniket has reportedly now memorized the timetable and section roll lists, experts confirm: the only algorithm he failed was the one of basic social interaction. Oh, and word on the campus is that a new girl named Yashi has just joined CSE. Let's see if Aniket will find redemption — or just walk into another emotionally encrypted lab. Stay tuned for more updates on "Love at First Block," — Narrated and emotionally fueled by Ganesh, the friend who just wants peace... and content.
- EXCLUSIVEJanuary 2024The Reason Why Virat Kohli Retired Test Cricket: Selected for Vishal Mega Mart Security GuardSources confirm Kohli's lifelong dream was to guard the gates at VMM.
- February 2024Physics Wallah and Aakash Byju's to Soon Launch Foundation Course for Vishal Mega Mart Cashier JobsEdtech giants enter the retail exam space, promising 100% selection rate.
- March 2025VMM Security Guard Gets More Dowry and Beautiful Wife Than Sarkari Naukar!In a shocking turn, a VMM security guard receives record dowry and marries the village beauty, leaving government job holders stunned! Parents now dream of VMM badges for their sons.
- May 2024AIR 1 Interview: Practiced Opening Doors for 18 Hours a DayExclusive: How discipline and a whistle changed my life.
- April 2024New Syllabus Released: Includes Advanced Bag Checking TechniquesCoaching centers rush to update their modules.
- March 2024Record Applications: 15 Lakh Aspirants This YearCompetition tougher than ever. Parents start training kids from age 5.
RUMOR ALERT
`Next year, guards might get chairs! Sources say it's still under consideration.`